Jan 16

Cannabis Culture

I’ve got nothing against the smoking of cannabis even though I don’t really want to myself, in fact I think it can smell quite pleasant, and I understand that if you don’t become reliant on it, the overall experience can be quite nice. I feel legalizing it would be a prudent thing for governments to do; not only to save the billions it currently costs to enforce the restriction of it, but because through legalizing something you lay down a series of guidelines for its use. Any legal intoxicant (even some over-the-counter medication) comes with restrictions and guidelines for safe use; I think the most obvious restriction to put onto users would be that while under the influence, you weren’t allowed to operate a vehicle.

The thing I have it in for is a reasonably large percentage of cannabis users who have developed this sort of ‘sub-culture’ surrounding it. I’m not even talking about the skinny little white guys who desperately want to be dreadlocked black guys sitting under palm trees and listening to reggae music while they wait for Haile Selassie to come round for tea and biscuits. No, I’m talking about the kinds of people who, whenever the subject is brought up, feel the need to draw attention to themselves and go on about it for ages because for some reason they think it makes them cool.

Imagine you’re with a group of people having a drink in a bar, and one of your party says, “hey guys, I’m just going to go outside and smoke a cigarette.”

“Ok,” you reply, “see you in a minute” and go to carry on the conversation

“Yeah…” continues the smoker, “I like to use XYZ kind of tobacco, it makes it taste really XYZ-y. You should try it…” all the while the person has that look of someone who’s deigning to impart these pearls of wisdom on you lesser mortals.

It’s that look of superiority, or in any case separatism, when talking about something so mundane that really makes me want to punch them in the face. It’s the sort of thing you’d expect from a little kid you overhear bragging to his friends that he can ride his bike without training wheels!

It doesn’t stop at simple conversational wankerism though, oh no. They have to wear it, draw it and listen to themed music too! There’s something just plain pitiful about kids (and big kids) doodling pictures of cannabis leaves onto things. Are you a fucking BOTANIST!? NO! No you’re bloody well not! Then the only possible explanation for you doing that is so that people might think you were ‘cool’, or at least be recognized by the other people who think they’re cool and thereby gain acceptance into the fraternity (or ‘bud-erhood’, if you will) of ignorant twats. You have to take photos of yourselves smoking it because you’re so badass and rebellious and everyone will think you’re just the coolest person they’ve ever met. They’ll ask you how long it’s been since you last punched a policeman, and they’ll all have a secret bet on how many joints laden with the forbidden green awesomeness you’ve suavely hidden in cellophane down the front of your trousers.

You can’t possibly go outside without any kind of indicator that you’re a devil-may-care renegade who engages in an altogether uninteresting and harmless leisure activity; so you’d better spend money on badges, sweaters, headbands, bracelets and all kinds of other assorted shit with various inane slogans on them!

There are some people out there who smoke cannabis for genuine medicinal purposes, and a whole lot of people who do so at home because they like it. There aren’t many photos of these people, because the vast majority of them aren’t self-obsessed, attention seeking douchebags like these people:



As far as I can tell, it’s only this group of idiots who are preventing the legalization and (crucially) regulation of the drug, and more importantly, the maturation of half the internet’s population. I long for a day when I don’t have to suffer the faux bravado of people who think they’re somehow cooler than you because they set fire to plants and breathe in the result.

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Mr Llamatastic

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